What is Queer Dying?
There are a lot of words floating around these days like having a “good death” or “a successful death”. Sounds like we are going to get one final report card!
There is no right way to die.
The impact of words like “good death” on me is a closing off sensation in my chest, head and pelvis, a numbness. This numbness cuts me off from getting the information I need to care for myself and others.
I associate these sensations in my body or lack thereof, with the striving for impossible standards of the culture(s) of perfectionism that came with the settlers of this land, a collection of “right and wrong” ways of being. Some other words for this might be colonial, white supremist, hetero-patriarchal teachings.
So let’s not do it that way, ok?
Instead, let’s contemplate our own wishes and desires for end of life centered in community and care.
Considering the intentions and impacts of our decision. Of course it is up to you to define what community means to you. There is no denying the impacts of dying in this day and age on the biosphere, the green ones, the unseen ones, the air, the soil, the water and all of us other animals on the planet.
So, if I am playing towards any kind of death it might be a Care full Death.
This workbook is a collection of embodied resourcing activities, conversation/writing prompts, experiments and questions of deep wonder for you and your community to play with.
Get the Queer Dying Workbook
The Queer Dying Workbook is now available in print!
Join the Queer DyinG CirCle
Meet weekly With Other Queer Folks
Waves
Our feelings about Death & Dying
Bones
Some practicalities of Death & Dying
Wings
Communicating about Death
Blooms
Offerings, remembrance, ritual
About Captain
I am excited and relieved that we have found ourselves here together doing this exploration around death as individuals and in community. As a queer genderqueer/trans creature and community member who has worked in street outreach and harm reduction with youth and adults, in queer health and in sex and gender based violence, death has always been near me if not on top of me.
I am white settler whose ancestors came to Turtle Island (aka north america) 150 plus years ago, took part in the colonial project of the creation of canada, caused harm and recreated harm that was done to them. Much of this harm is ongoing. I am distant physically and emotionally from practices of the death care of my blood lineage as such I went looking. I am deeply thankful to the BIPOC feminists in the early 1990’s who began teaching me about cultural appropriation and encouraged me to dig into my own roots. As a witch and radical faery I have had opportunities to witness/ create/re-create/re-member culture around death and dying.
There is so much I don’t know. This workbook is a humble offering with a dream of contributing to the questions & conversations around death and dying.